The Art of Detachment
Being attached to someone can be really challenging; it can be really, really hard.
The perspective of others that “Oh, why are you detached now? You really don’t care about him anymore?” Worms come out of their mouth taking the center stage of such argumentative situations.
It is really hard telling someone, “I’m already detached and moving forward but I am still talking to you because I care for you.” It hurts the other’s perspective that they can be sad but you cannot. It’s the end of the relationship, the friendship towards someone. But you still have to consider their feelings. You have to distance yourself or you have to reconsider the thought and tell them about the situation. It’s always the others perspective that you consider and not yours anymore. The fact that you detached yourself because you have your own reason, your point of view, your side of the coin should be what you prioritize, but it’s the opposite.
Limit the mind on how are you moving forward if you are into someone. Detachment to me is already moving forward because they are no longer part of your growth or it is part of my growth as an individual to step up – to be independently happy. Choosing not to hold back on when you are being disrespected, left out, or you already did your best part to the point, you can deeply say “ I want to rest.” A deep sigh of relief from holding on to something that doesn’t give you positivity. The boat sinks but you are the only one making effort to paddle and bailing water off the boat with an effort and without say while looking at the root cause and solving it. While the he just keeps on nagging things he can do, bragging ideas but really can’t be relied on, the notion that words without an effort is nothing becomes ever more evident.
You could only stay stuck on that something that’s not good for you when you just listen and be blinded on what you have done so far to make it work. A soft-hearted person with the perspective in life to just keep on seeing the “Good in People” while searching and making it to work makes it all the harder to stay afloat with a cracked-up boat. Where is that good that you have seen? Is it really worth tipping the see-saw to perceive their side of the story without seeing yours? Or is it part of your imagination that they are doing the good thing even if they are really not? Delusionality at its finest, you’re imagining the good things that they, in reality, cannot do.
Eventually you realize that you, at some point, find it soon that they can no longer do it. The questions; “Where is that things he can do?”; “Can they really do it?” now resounds an answer in your head. A cold “no” that eventually becomes the root cause of you parting ways with the other.
White lies create a phenomenon to make things worse and feed you up with more lies to make you believe that person. How about looking up into your point of view slowly realizing what the importance of detachment meant and does? What makes you happy? What make you have peace? What makes you comfortable? And you still think of the other’s perspective because you’ve focus on the good things they have done. Detachment goes on when you cared so much. How? Detachment doesn’t only mean “Let’s end this, I realized how narcissist, pathetic and dramatic you and I truly are.” It means finally letting go of the rope that has been wrapped around your hand that through the passage of time has left you wounded, beaten up, and scarred as the thing you held on threaded pain into your very being.
Admit it, you have become a giver and a selfless lover. Understanding and forgiving those actions of disrespect that in the first page you didn’t really deserve. You have been silently thinking and gaslighting yourself that the other party can at least give the bare minimum while you are here going above and beyond your ways just to make things work. Stop being delusional and let that attachment fade with the cold realities the relationship really has.
Detachment is not really an end, rather a beautiful start to what wonders lie ahead past your darkest endeavor. To be able to cut the ropes and break loose of the chains that bind you to a toxic relationship with someone is the cherry on top of this wonderful thing. Indulge yourself in your thought-process, and realize that your actions, your affection, has been greater, unreciprocated, and unrecognized. It’s hard to detach if you’re being too delusional of someone, thinking that they can make the tables turn; that they can somehow, or at least, reciprocate the affection you give. The art of detachment means shedding the dream of a better someone, and realizing the real scenario you are in. Then and there, you will finally let go of that rope, and patch the boat you are in.
