My last column or not: fighting self-doubt
Every day we face new challenges; despite knowing this, we are often caught off guard with these challenges that make us doubt ourselves. Whether it is about relationships, family, friends, or work, we may feel uncertain. This situation may occur when we think that we are not good enough or our mistakes are more visible than our good deeds.
Sometimes people think that you are strong enough to handle all these things, but that is not always the case. Being always compared to others to the point that we could not remember our good abilities or we constantly feel unappreciated, these situations make us uncertain. We might ask ourselves, “Am I good enough?” or “Do I deserve this?”
Self-doubt is like a dementor; it feeds on our self-worth and self-esteem until our happiness, peace, and hope are gone. Self-doubt makes us feel like cowards and losers because we don’t want to do something anymore as we think that the result will be negative or failure. It attacks our decisions and results to overthinking even in a minor situation.
Being uncertain may result to a lack of motivation. We don’t want to do the things we liked before. Also, it can cause lack of concentration. We are losing our focus on the things that matter, and instead, we are being controlled by our insecurities. Because of this, we are slowly moving away from responsibilities and relationships. Self-doubt makes us avoid confrontations because we always choose the easy way out.
How can we fight self-doubt?
- Empower yourself
If you think that other people do not appreciate you, then appreciate yourself more. We should not wait for other people to appreciate us; we should do it ourselves first. Remember all your achievements and why you are doing what you are doing right now. Appreciate everything that you do.
Be kind to yourself and continue doing things that you like. Treat yourself with your favorite comfort food, watch your favorite shows on Netflix, and stream your favorite music; you can do all these things. Also, if others won’t express their gratitude to you, you can express your gratitude to yourself. Thank yourself for thriving and pushing through every obstacle.
Celebrate your accomplishments, whatever how big or small it is. Show love for yourself, get a decent amount of sleep, and always drink water. Do some workouts, get that body goal you want, or start a skincare routine to achieve the “glow-up” you dream. We can do all these things to empower ourselves.
2. Empower others.
If other people don’t show the appreciation you deserve, then maybe you can show them; be the difference. It might be hard to do this, but it is a good thing to do. It doesn’t mean that if they do not appreciate you, you will also not appreciate anyone.
Always remember that you are not them; you can make a difference. Do not let their actions affect the way you interact with other people. Say thank you with all your might or show any appreciation of any kind. Maybe when you all do these things, people around you will learn and appreciate you more.
3. Trust yourself, make that decision.
Sometimes, we feel self-doubt because we always base our actions on what people might think. We are carrying the burden that our decision must be relative to other people’s opinions. We tend to overthink things because we want to satisfy the people around us. Let us start doing things for ourselves too.
Continue doing things because you want to do them, not because you want others to notice or appreciate it. Always remember the reason why you started doing what you want. Push through with the things that will make you feel better, develop your skills, and advance your knowledge; it is not wrong to prioritize yourself more. Make a decision because you think it is right, and trust yourself more. Trusting yourself is a key to fighting self-doubt.
4. Expect to be hurt; hope for the best because you are important.
Our lives are not perfect. Challenges will occur daily and sometimes simultaneously; all of these are part of our lives. We will feel hurt. We will feel neglected and unappreciated, but it doesn’t mean that it is the end. We will be challenged, and we will overcome challenges. We will fail, but we will also overcome.
Always hope for the best and remind yourself that people will eventually appreciate you. However, do not lower your guard that you will always expect to be appreciated. When we know what to expect, we will be prepared for what we will feel.
You are important, always remember that. Even if you face trials and hardships, it will not lessen your importance. Others might not see it, but if you can see it, that is better. You will not feel lesser of a person if you know your worth and how important you are to the lives of others.
5. Seek help, reconnect with other people.
Sometimes our self-doubts are a result of a lack of connection with our friends and family. Start reconnecting with your loved ones and ask for help. Also, spend time with people who always support you and are always there for you. When you feel doubting yourself, people like them will always remind you how good you are and what you can do.
Also, if self-doubt persists, you can always ask for professional help. The Northwestern University Guidance Center and Peer Facilitators Club are always open to helping students like us. Even in a distance learning setup, you can reach them through their Facebook pages, https://www.facebook.com/NWUGuidance and https://www.facebook.com/NWUPeer.
If you ever feel self-doubt, always remember that there are people like me rooting for you, hoping that every silent battle you have will make you victorious. You are more than what you think you are. Keep in mind that you are not alone. You will feel appreciated, and you will overcome all your hardships.
